Me internally at a party: God, why are we talking about Beyoncé? This is so vapid. We ought to be discussing literature.
Me internally while discussing literature: God, why are we talking about literature? This is so dull. We ought to be rescuing orphans and doing things that actually mean something.
Me internally while rescuing orphans: God, why are they so thin? This is so unfair. I ought to be this thin.
Me being thin: [Listens to Countdown all day long.]